I have been there and done that crying in doctors parking lots. I also have made many of the changes you have been making. I think it is making a difference. It is so good to know that I am not alone. I hope to see you more on the forum so we can be encouraged.
I made some artwork inwhich I tried to illustrate IS 44 verse 3 and 4. My picture shows a man carrying a baby from a fire. As time goes on the baby turns to an old women, but he still carries her effortlessly and with joy. I hope you have that joy in the Lord and can depend on him. The Lord has not failed me yet, but I am having quite a struggle.